It’s late. I’ve been pondering. I’m playing with the nicely shaped joint in my fingers, subconsciously. I snap out of my ever-reflective moment and glance at my hand, curious as to the length of time I’ve actually been fiddling, with my mind out of this world.
The crisp autumn breeze sweeps over my face and I clench my sweater tighter to myself. The porch light pollutes my vision as I try and seek out the stars above, and wiggle back into my patio chair a bit more, an unsuccessful attempt at any sort of comfort. I take notice of a couple of those little gaseous delights winking at me, despite the wisps of clouds and the irritating city lights. I wish I was among them.
My eyes begin to well up, and I bury my face into my knees and chest before a sob escapes. I’m too strong for that. I’m okay. I’m fine. Deep breath, and out. I remember my green in hand, brought about by a scent I caught in the breeze. I compose myself, rub my eyes and dig around my pockets for my lighter.