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NoxxyNights

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Yours, Etc.

And I set this to your palm
Steel to grace the layers
Breaking open,
Sweep away the tedium
Built to exorcise the demons in my gut

Purchased flesh, your residence
I take mine at your feet

Your command spills by the whole of your irises
This essence pursues in agreement

 You conspire with me against my poor judgement
And liberate body from mind
Embrace me on every level, every realm
Every world, in every dimension
And let me honor you
My King
In each

Narcissus.

The water may sweep away my tears
An ocean between us
But would you drag the lake for me?

Thirteen knots,
                                         Thirteen knots.

Blank stares
This mirror yells at me
And I cower
I am a coward
I repent

Black streaks line this face
My charcoal warpaint
Dressed for battle
Two ram heads entangle
Struggle
                                   Pride
                                                                       Surrendering again.
Is there ever a true victor?

Scrape the glitter off on scalpels edge.
Will I still be good enough?

Addictissimus.

Show me who I am
Show me who to be
I don’t need a lot
Just you next to me
Breathe your life into me
Make me feel something new
Something different
I crave the change, the thrill
I want your hands all over me
To push and pull
Tightening fists and
Gentle caresses
Hold me like it’s the last time
Breathe me in and taste me
I want to become enveloped.

I’m addicted to the scent of
Leather,
Wine and
Incense.
To pain
And pleasure.
To the
Taste
Of
Your
Skin.
To the smell of your bones
And the blood in your veins
The light in your eyes
The dark that remains
And the tell of your sins.

I want you in the bluntest way,
Flesh to flesh,
Taking over every sense I have.
Get under my skin
And in my head
I’ll get in your bed.
I want to touch,
Feel you
Through and through
Because
Of all the things
My hands have held
The best
By far
Is
You.

Two Shots Of Whiskey For Breakfast.

I would’ve kept holding you too.
Should have.
You make it much too difficult
To leave.
Warm touches and shallow breaths
And those goddamn
Whiskey Eyes that flutter
At me before I
Peel myself from the
Inferno-fire-nest-thingy
You’ve created.
And my
Pretty
Words
Won’t
Ever
Describe
Wholly
How I am in those moments.
Not even
Early morning poetry
Does it justice.
But this,
This is all much too sentimental,
Saccharine.
My purpose was
Only to simply inform you
That I would’ve
Should’ve Stayed there
Wrapped up
Tangled in
Slumber and Limbs
And warmth.

Unsteady.

Unsteady Video

Mama, come here
Approach, appear
Daddy, I’m alone
‘Cause this house don’t feel like home

If you love me, don’t let go
If you love me, don’t let go

Hold, hold on, hold onto me
‘Cause I’m a little unsteady
A little unsteady
Hold, hold on, hold onto me
‘Cause I’m a little unsteady
A little unsteady

Mother, I know
That you’re tired of being alone
Dad, I know you’re trying
To fight when you feel like flying

But if you love me, don’t let go
If you love me, don’t let go
– X Ambassadors

The feels of this song…
The video…
What I’ve felt most my life.
And here it is in words and video.
That moment when you try for years
to explain what you feel…
And there it is. Boom. Trigger.

After All This Time?…Always.

And after all this time,
you’d think I know the exact outcome.
It’s not plausible, possible, nor probable…
It’s definite.
Even if positivity and optimism could influence the ending of this tragic novel,
I don’t think it’d be very pretty.
Something will be broken.
Someone will fall.
If I could isolate every influential moment, I’d never need to stitch up these seams again.

Reprobate Romance.

You show me hell in the most beautiful light, your lies disguised as alibis.
You know you’re hell behind your beautiful eyes, a feeling I can’t fight.

We’re just a falling star, we’re just a broken seed.
And when an ocean parts, will you wanna sink our dreams?
I don’t know what we are or what we’ll ever be, so listen when you feel your heart skip a beat.

You left me here without a breath or goodbye, you never even tried.
You saw me then I was so perfectly blind, a love I’ll never find.

Yeah, you said you felt the same, but then something changed, you threw it all away.
You’re just like drawing scars and leaving hope to bleed.
So if we fall apart, will I ever haunt your dreams?
I don’t know who we are or what this means, so listen when you feel your heart skip a beat.
Reprobate Romance – Blacklisted Me

And Here We Go.

I’m lost.

Adrift and confused, mixed up in my head.

The sweet sting of madness slowly poisons my  veins.

I feel myself turning.

Turning to the darkness, breathing in that black ocean,

Its waves sweeping over me, in an attempt to drown.

And as much as it’s terrifying to think of what this insanity could become,

What could become of me,

I’ll let it consume me.

Wholly.

I’ll give in to these demons, this darkness.

And I’ll laugh as I fall,

Because I see the irony in all of this.

My old self has passed, retired.

I don’t know who I am anymore or who I’ve become,

All I’m sure of is my insides are black,

And this infectious madness flows through my being.

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